I am His handmaiden, and I am waiting.
While I wait, I am noticing that I am a little more peaceful. The noise is more bearable. In fact, at times, there is even less noise.
I dreamed once more (probably the kazillionth time) that I was pregnant, only this time I was told that I was waiting on someone else to do something he had to do before I would be able to deliver.
Then I dreamed of little kids that kept running into my room because my door was open. I thought they were adorable but wondered to whom they belonged. I kept shooing them back out the door and telling them to go find their mommy.
So, back to waiting. Sleep is hard to accomplish – it is something that I long for but it seems to elude me a great deal. I pray a lot. But then if I run out of people to pray for, and my mind gets too busy, I have to just get up and start writing. It’s all part of waiting.
Lately I have realized that I am finally being released to work on a couple of projects I have known would come in due time. This is a lonely time for me right now, so it seems like a perfect time to dive in. But I’m cautious because I also don’t want the chaos and inner turmoil to overwhelm me, and I have to keep balance in my life between rest, inner work, outer work, and relationships.
Waiting is harder than doing. Perhaps that’s why God repeated Himself so often on the subject… thinking of so many songs I used to play to lead worship at church eons ago… all about waiting on the Lord.
Well, I’m taking that advice, and I’m going to keep reminding myself of it, because I want those Eagle’s Wings He has promised!
I want to soar up to the sky and kiss the Son!